The Middle East Conundrum

the simple solution

by Foghorn on March 6, 2013

I just figured it out. Tonight, as I was making dinner. I know how to have peace in the Middle East! It came to me just as my scrambled eggs had reached the perfect consistency on the stove.

In the Middle East, everything is interconnected to an astonishing degree. It is literally inconceivable how everything is interconnected. You have Syria and Egypt right now, but Afghanistan, Libya, Lebanon, Israel, the Palestinians, the Taliban, Hezbollah, Shira law, Iran, Al-Qaeda, Iran, Pakistan. They all weigh into the mix……. you can go on and on and on, and never reach a terminus. Then you throw in the UN, NATO, the US and Russia, oil, sand….. I don’t need to belabor the point.

The whole region is *exactly* like the female brain – everything is interconnected to a degree that not even God himself using all the power in the universe can rationally unlock. And just like the female brain, if you touch any one part of it, everything else boils over and you are going to be in a world of hurt. But you are going to be in even deeper shit if you do nothing at all. So, what to do?

I have figured it out. Holy crap am I ever smart. All we need to do is send a message to the whole region that says: “YOU DON’T LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS” and everything should calm down nicely.

At least for a few days.

Step aside Ban Ki-moon, step aside.

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